How to deal with the “Challengers”
Every workplace has those employees that many will label “difficult” (heck, maybe you’ve been THAT person...no judgement here). Dealing with these unique beings isn’t an easy task and one of the biggest frustrations for many, especially leaders who are responsible in creating and maintain a strong, healthy work environment. The most frantic calls from my mentoring clients are often around how to deal with these employees and I’ll tell you what I tell them: “Difficult” people don’t exist! Yes, you heard that right! No one ever wakes up in the morning and makes the decision to make life difficult for others. They just don’t.
So, now that you think I’ve completely lost my mind, let me explain my theory. There are people that will challenge us....OH will they challenge us!! Here’s the thing about leading these “challengers”.... you need to lead EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR PEOPLE! That’s right! Not just the employees who make your life all rainbows and roses, but also the ones who add a little fire to your life! We need to change the context from seeing these people as being a thorn in our side to being our biggest gift. Leaders are always ready to accept any challenge and these wonderful humans teach us all so much about acceptance, diversity of opinions, empathy, team work and patience. You just need to know how to lead, empower and nurture them just like you do all your rainbows and roses:
1. Listen carefully: Challenging employees are often misunderstood, shrugged off as difficult and dismissed. Take an opportunity to truly listen to them. What is their intention? What are they truly trying to tell you?
2. Be adaptable: Leadership is never about making your people adapt to your needs. You need to learn each person’s communication preference, personality traits and adapt your leadership style and approach to meet their needs. If you don’t know what they need, simply ask them. They will appreciate that you care enough to ask and it will make your life so much easier.
3. Don’t avoid: I worked for an employer early in my career that would simply avoid the challenging employees. The avoidance created a horribly toxic environment where the challengers controlled the employer and the rest of us suffered. It may take some extra time in the beginning to work through scenarios with these employees, but will save lots of time and headaches in the end. Trust me!
4. Set limits: You need to recognize when you’ve done everything that you can for this employee and the challenging increases, brings difficulties to your team/work environment and is now affecting others. When you set limits and give proper notice and warning to the employee, it’s time to let them go. Not even the most seasoned leader would keep going past the limits that they set. You’re not doing anyone, including the “challenger” any favours by continuing the vicious cycle.
Our challenging employees are always our biggest challenge BUT also our biggest gift, so the next time you want to label someone as “difficult”, step up to the challenge and see what happens.
Carrie XO